Coffee++ 1: The residue of an overactive brain/weekend

This is the first in a series of posts that will likely occur whenever I have a lot of work to do and partake in the use of Coffee++, which is a glorious study aid I have psuedo-devised. These will likely all be rambling, perhaps stream-of-consciousness posts on whatever the hell is kicking around in my brain while procrastinating. Enjoy.

Why are we here? What the fuck is the point of this all? Is there a God? I don’t know, but if there is he/she/it must be either (a) a douchebag (sorry, God!) or (b) not omnipotent. Hear me out on this one.

I don’t think anyone could argue that we live in a perfect world, right? There’s more than enough hunger, poverty and war to go around. Life is not always fun for anyone. I mean, I by all rights have been handed a pretty excellent life; I have good friends, good family, and ample resources. My personal life is generally pleasant and enjoyable. But I’m not always happy. No one, not even the most able, loved and optimisitic person, is.

So, for the sake of this argument, let’s assume a creator-God exists and is omnipotent, as the major monotheistic religions like to argue. Herein, obviously, lies a problem: if God is omnipotent, and created the world, he gave people the option to be evil. Bad shit happens.

An omnipotent God could’ve created a perfect world. But, apparently, he decided not to. He decided to create a world with deceitful, corrupt, cruel beings. He made human beings, the ruling species on the planet, severely fucked up. I mean, c’mon, Hitler existed! The fucking inquisition took place! Both of those were religiously motivated! Tons of other terrible things have transpired by human hand! Plenty of “good people” have gotten fucked over, and plenty of terrible people have triumphed. What the fuck?

Now, I suppose one could argue that God, being a kind God, imbued us with free will (or something along those lines). But he judges us for what we do with that will, right? Even if he doesn’t, he still gave humans the ability to be terrible to one another and to the earth. If he were omnipotent and good, he could’ve made a kind world, made people better, and self-corrected along the way. But he didn’t. Douchebag.

Fuck it, let’s even assume that the Garden of Eden exists, and he didn’t directly give people the option to be evil. Well, even then God is a douchebag.

Adam and Eve got thrown out of the Garden of Eden for eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. This tree, says Wikipedia, is also sometimes referred to as the Tree of Conscience. Now, all one needs to do to derive what I am about to say is look at either one of those names for whatever that tree was that kicked it in Paradise. Eve, when directed to eat from the tree by that ever-so-evil serpent (who, by the way, had legs up until that point), had no knowledge of good and evil. She lacked a conscience. God directed them not to eat from the tree, but the snake told them to eat from it. They had no knowledge of right and wrong, so who can blame them from listening to the serpent?! And what did God do when they ate the fruit of the tree? He kicked them out of Eden and damned them to a life of labor. Because Eve was the first to fuck up, all women now have to deal with the pains of childbirth. DOUCHEBAG.

But I hear you out there, you religious folk. “God is great! He’s not a douchebag! You’re just a disollusioned blaspheming douchebag yourself!”

Well, maybe God isn’t a douchebag. If God exists (which I hope, but am not sure, he/she/it does), this is the view I choose to take. However, this means he’s not omnipotent. Personally, I’m fine with this view. If this is the case, I figure it means God started the universe and sorta let things go. He got stuff going and then left it to do what it has/will. Maybe he chills in the afterlife, I don’t know. Maybe he even sent His son down to chill with us for a while 2000 years ago. Again, I don’t know. But he sure as shit ain’t both omnipotent and not a douchebag.